Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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