just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
