The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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