Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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