Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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