i need an iv and a liver transplant
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
