Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I love having hate sex.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
