Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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