She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
