I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize