I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
