How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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