sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
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