I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
