it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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