Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
