i barfeds in our rink
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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