There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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