Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
