What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
