Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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