i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
