we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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