Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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