So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
