nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
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The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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