life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
the liver wants what the liver wants
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize