Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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