I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
