you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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