I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
