he shaved USA in his pubs
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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