that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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