"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
