I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
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I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
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I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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