Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
