why didn't you poke me back
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
