I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
