We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
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Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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