so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize