just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
