Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
