I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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