the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize