Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
