If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize
