I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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