There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
