i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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