all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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