32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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