before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
