you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
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