Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
