I feel great
I just peed on a car
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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