Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
