i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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