Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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