Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
